Just look at me what do you see?

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Just look at me what do you see?

 

Look at me what do you see? A man? A black man? ugly? good looking? So what listen to this I’m on disability and when I look at my self I don’t look disable! But my hands look find but they cramp and hurt from all the years of being a mechanic and so many car crashes and been ran over by three car and left for dead on 378 Hwy. Hit by a train and I’m still here! My body has give up. Pain is a every day thing! But my brain is still in high gear and dragon helps me a lot to put out my blogs! Well most say tough cookie deal with it! Sometime my mind fool me that I can still do what I want to do but the mind plays tricks on you! Hard to cope lost and on doctors dope sometimes feels no hope lets spit for a few! Listen vision of a better life slowly leaves my mind a dream of having of just having is just a dream because reality kick in and take a look at me again! Just know that life will win to blow my chance again! So you say who cares! But they just don’t see my fears and tears to have my home it’s is long gone! To travel heck my body won’t handle. Days I lay so depress in this mess that I just can’t move paralyze no will to move but to look at me you will say you look good! Hey bitching is not me! But to talk about it make me free! How do you hang in this only the strong will gain and if you are not like the rest then you will never get the best in living this life you will never guess! To work and then don’t to start all over when your life is half over 50 and counting but the let down is mounting. Yes all can’t be rich! Yes all can’t be on top. Yes all can’t be in the spotlight. But why offer a life that most can’t be heck just look at me! Easter morning here I’m blogging should been out jogging but my leg is so dead and believe me it’s not in my head! So I wait and vent to plead this case but beware that my mind is test to give my best and the rest will I deal no matter how I feel so when I paid my bill maybe still the rest of me can fulfill this word thing that can grill so my soul can have a meal and never appeal to have one mill bucks just a dream! So if you feel what this old man spill out his mouth and having much zeal to be real oh yeah I’m the deal when blogging! But I’m lost when not! This man don’t need pity! All I need is you to read and enjoy happy Easter! Just me speaking my mind and getting this off my chest! peace pastorvoices!!!!

yes six feet from the edge and I’m thinking maybe six feet ain’t far down!

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